"But you don't seem autistic." "Isn't everyone a bit on the spectrum?" If you're autistic, you've probably heard comments like these, often from people who mean well.
Myths can make it harder to be believed, to get support, or even to understand yourself. Here are some common ones, and what's actually true.
Why these myths stick around
A lot of what people "know" about autism comes from old stereotypes and TV characters. Many autistic adults also mask, hiding or adjusting their natural behaviour to fit in, so what others see isn't the whole picture (NHS).
The myths at a glance
| Myth | What's actually true |
|---|---|
| Autistic people lack empathy | Communication differences run both ways |
| Everyone's a bit autistic | Sharing a trait isn't the same as being autistic |
| You can't be autistic if you have friends, a job or a partner | Autism doesn't rule any of these out |
| Autism is a childhood condition | You're born autistic, and stay autistic |
| It's mostly men | Women and non-binary people are often missed |
| Vaccines cause autism | They don't |
"Autistic people lack empathy"
This is one of the most hurtful myths. Some autistic people find it hard to read facial expressions, gestures or tone of voice (NHS). But finding it hard to read someone isn't the same as not caring about them.
The double empathy problem suggests that misunderstandings between autistic and non-autistic people run both ways. We explain it in explaining your needs to friends and family.
"Everyone's a bit autistic"
Lots of people like routine, dislike loud parties, or have a hobby they love. That doesn't make them autistic.
Being autistic isn't about having one or two traits now and then. It's a different way of experiencing and communicating with the world, there from birth (NHS). Saying "everyone's a bit autistic" can make real difficulties sound trivial.
"You can't be autistic if you have friends, a job or a partner"
Being autistic doesn't stop you having relationships, work or a full life. It can mean those things take more energy, or work best with some adjustments.
The NHS notes that some autistic adults hide their traits, which can make everyday activities and social interactions exhausting and stressful (NHS). So someone who seems to be "coping fine" might be working very hard behind the scenes. Our article on masking explains more.
Say a colleague is chatty in meetings, well liked and good at her job. She might also go home every evening and lie in a dark room to recover. Both can be true.
"Autism is a childhood condition"
Autistic children grow up into autistic adults. The NHS describes autism as something you're born with. It isn't an illness, and there's no treatment or cure (NHS).
Some people aren't identified until adulthood, sometimes much later. If that's you, our article on discovering you're autistic as an adult might help.
"It's mostly men"
More men than women are diagnosed, but the gap seems smaller than once thought. The National Autistic Society says older estimates ranged widely, and that the most up-to-date estimate is around 3 autistic males to every 1 female. It adds that many autistic women and girls struggle to get a diagnosis, are diagnosed late, or are misdiagnosed (National Autistic Society).
The NHS says signs can be harder to see in women, partly because of masking (NHS). The National Autistic Society also notes there are many non-binary autistic people.
"Vaccines cause autism"
They don't. The NHS states clearly that autism is not caused by vaccines or medicines (NHS).
It also says it isn't known what causes autism, but that it can sometimes run in families. It isn't caused by anything you or your parents did.
Responding to myths
You don't have to correct every comment. It's tiring, and you don't owe anyone a lesson.
If you're supporting someone
If someone tells you they're autistic, try not to compare them to other autistic people you know, or to what you've seen on TV. Believe them, and ask what would actually help.
References
- NHS. What is autism? nhs.uk/conditions/autism/what-is-autism
- NHS. Signs of autism in adults. nhs.uk/conditions/autism/signs-in-adults
- National Autistic Society. Autistic women and girls. autism.org.uk
- Crompton, C. J., Ropar, D., Evans-Williams, C. V. M., Flynn, E. G., & Fletcher-Watson, S. (2020). Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective. Autism, 24(7), 1704–1712. doi.org/10.1177/1362361320919286
